Hello again friends, loyal readers, George Bush and the guy who reads stuff to George Bush. It’s been quite some time since I’ve posted anything here and it’s about time I got back on track.

As of today, it has been three months and a day since I’ve last posted on this blog. For that, I apologize. I can only imagine the immense pain I’ve put all of you through by so quickly abandoning this blog. I can see it now: each and everyone one of you slumped over in your computer chair, mascara running down your face in a stream of tears and sweat. You fight, putting every ounce of your will into using whatever specific muscle groups allow you to raise your arm from your side. Shaking profusely, you guide your frail, bony (I assume you’ve stopped eating since I stopped posting) finger towards the F5 key, refreshing the page one last time. And, alas, no update.

Or perhaps you didn’t notice that I stopped posting, which I find less likely.

But the point is, I am back, and this blog will be better* than ever. I feel as though with a three month absence. I owe you a bit of an explanation as to what I’ve been doing.

1. Writing, Just Not Here

I have been writing quite a bit in the three month hiatus. I’m working on a few different things right now, as a matter of fact. I’ve had approximately 35 thousand short story ideas, each of which are about a sentence deep as of this moment. I’m also working on a joint-story (not that kind of joint) with a friend of mine, Sean. It’s almost 10k words as of right now.

I also have been putting quite a bit of time into my own story, [very] tentatively titled “Next,” which consists of exactly 23,886 words as of this moment. I’ve been telling myself for a few years that if I can ever get a book to 50-55k words, I would get it published. Not through Harper-Collins or Random House or something, just pay to have it self-published so that I can say things like “And additionally, I do have a book published that received rave reviews from both my friend Tom and my Aunt Lori,” on job interviews and what not. Which brings me to my next point.

2. Trying to find a career

In addition to writing stories, I’ve probably written more cover letters in the last few months than there are words in the English language. They’ve mostly been met with middling success, as I have struggled to break out of the landscaping field and into a career that involves more writing and less shovels and sweating. The lack of success has been weighing on me fairly heavily, however, which brings me to the final stop in the “what I’ve been doing” section of my blog.

3. Trying my absolute hardest to stay positive

Lately, very few things have been going my way. I did not win the 1.5 billion dollar PowerBall jackpot, for instance. However, I’ve attributed approximately zero of these things to “fate” or “chance” or “the curse that homeless guy put on me in fourth grade.” My lack of career, dental insurance, happiness, etc, is because of me, and I am entirely aware of that. So I’ve been trying to remain positive and tell myself that, eventually, things will get back on track, my book will sell millions, Anna Kendrick will realize that it’s time to settle for me, and I’ll regain the feeling of success that I crave.

To start, I’ve decided that I’m going to begin posting here with some semblance of consistency. At least once a week—likely on Mondays—I’ll post here with some thoughts or ramblings or what have you regarding sports, my life, why the Phillies didn’t take my advice and sign Mitch Moreland yet, etc. Secondly, on Wednesday nights, I’ll post reviews on that week’s episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I am an avid Sunny fan and feel as though my feedback will inevitably go straight to the top.

Now, please join me in welcoming myself back



*I do not guarantee an increase in blog quality.